Photographs and Memories
by Ihavemyownmcdreamybutthisisfun
Summary: She left him, but he can't live without her. When he finds out where she is, will he be able to make her remember how much she really loves him, or will he go back to Seattle defeated?
1. Chapter 1

"Oceanside Wellness Group." He looked down at the business card he'd snatched from Derek's desk while he wasn't looking. It didn't surprise him that she'd kept in touch with her ex-husband after fleeing to Los Angeles. They were, after all, best friends for fifteen years. And, though it shouldn't have, it did somewhat surprise him that she'd basically slipped off the planet as far as he was concerned. Oh, he called, daily for about a month, but eventually, the cell number she'd been using in Seattle had been disconnected, and the e-mails he sent every day began to return with an error message stating the address was now invalid. He spent weeks pondering ways to find her, but all he knew was that she was in LA, and he knew that trying to find her without so much as a clue would be futile. But, lo and behold, one day he sat in Derek's office, "shooting the breeze" about this and that, and out of the corner of his eye, an aquamarine metallic logo glinted in the sunlight against an ecru background, and for some reason, he could almost feel her. Then, as Dr. Shepherd answered a page, he cautiously leaned forward and squinted at the sophisticated text laying crooked on the walnut desk in front of him. "Addison Montgomery, OB-GYN/ Neonatologist." He asked for a vacation the following day, and after postponing or moving forward all scheduled surgeries for his week off, he packed a bag and caught a red-eye flight to LA.

He arrived at 6 AM, and after baggage claim and securing his rental car, he drove the red Mercedes convertible along the southern California coastline to Oceanside Drive. The warm glow of the sun and the warm, salty breeze did nothing to quell his fear, and he gripped black leather steering wheel knuckle-white tight as he pulled into a spot near the far end of the parking lot. He glanced down at the business card face-up in the passenger seat, then back up at the modern building in front of him. A young man with floppy blonde hair passed by him in a wetsuit and holding a surfboard, and his eyes followed the boy as he jogged up to the front door and entered. He suppressed a chuckle at the thought of sand tracking into the carpet of Addison's posh office overlooking the tides, and knew she probably had her own personal vacuum cleaner tucked away in a corner somewhere behind a floor plant. "Oh, Addie," he whispered. "This isn't you." Or was it?

**So let me know what you think! I know where I'd like this one to go, but I'm not quite sure how I'm gonna get there yet. Do I keep going? I'm crazy busy, so updates might be sporadic. However, this is some pretty good stress relief!**


	2. Chapter 2

She woke with a jolt and bolted upwards in bed. She smoothed her hair back to tame the slight frizz that disrupted her normally silky auburn locks. "And here I thought Seattle would be the most devastating thing that could ever happen to my hair," she thought aloud, turning slightly to examine the damp spot soaking into her lavender satin pillow case. She hastily jerked the case off and threw it across the room, and though she aimed for the light wicker hamper in the corner, a light breeze wafted through the chiffon curtains, catching the pillowcase as it gently fluttered to the hardwood floor several feet short. Sighing loudly, she pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them tightly as she struggled to catch her breath. It was the third time she'd had that dream this week, and it hadn't happened before that since the week she moved there. She rested her chin on a pink flannel covered knee and groaned. Even with eyes wide open, she could see it all so clearly.

_She was in an ivory lace Vera Wang gown as she sauntered towards the front of the cathedral, and as she neared, he turned to gaze at her with a smile and a wink. When she reached her destination, she passed the bouquet of red roses to an unidentified person to her immediate left, and when he reached out to grasp both of her hands, he paused to place a soft kiss on the back of one of them, and when he looked back up at her, he was……Mark._ She sighed in frustration and swung her legs around to the side of the bed. As her feet hit the hardwood floor, she shivered, despite the warm California breeze wafting through the window and the long-sleeved flannel pajamas. Derek hated her in flannel, but apparently once in Seattle _he_ could wear all he wanted. He hated satin sheets, too. Said they were too slippery. But, this was why she was here now—to be Addison, and in the comfort of her own home, Addison Forbes Montgomery was pink flannel pajamas and lavender satin sheets. She was a closet full of Prada and Jimmy Choo shoes, and she was Tiffany & Co. diamond stud earrings. She was aromatherapy bubble baths and scented candles, and she was a Starbucks grande non-fat, no-whip, sugar free, chai tea latte. She delivered babies, did emergency c-sections, consoled hysterical women, and had a thing for teddy bears, rainbows, and happy endings.

"Morning Addison!" She was startled as the cheery male voice sailed through her open window.

"Hi Sam." She turned to acknowledge her neighbor and co-worker who stood fully dressed and ready to go in the bedroom window opposite hers.

"Do you know what time it is?" He glanced down at his watch.

"I'm sure you're going to tell me," she muttered under her breath.

"It's seven thirty-two. Don't forget we have a meeting at eight!"

"Crap!" She raced to the window and pulled the string to lower the bamboo blinds. The light wood fell with a thud to the crisp white windowsill as she turned on her heel and made a mad dash for the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later, she smoothed the skirt of her emerald-green wrap dress with the palms of her hands as she balanced a cup of coffee in one hand and a meeting agenda in the other. She teetered slightly as she slipped her feet into a pair of black slingbacks and simultaneously bent down to toss the piece of light blue paper into her Prada tote bag. She rose quickly and slung it over her shoulder, then using her one free hand, she tucked a strand of auburn hair that had come loose from the tight chignon at the nape of her neck behind her right ear. Glancing longingly at the pair of silver flip-flops atop the contents of her bag, she sighed. On days she was early, she would walk along the shoreline, the salty seawater lapping at her ankles. It was her "scenic route" to work, but it wasn't happening today, as the four-block sprint from her new home to her new workplace on Oceanside Drive would already have her ETA at five minutes late. The Addison she knew a year ago would have rather been hit by a truck than walk into a meeting late, but she was really trying hard to work on that "laid back" thing. Still, as she hurried along the cobblestone sidewalk, she was still slightly annoyed that she just hadn't been able to get it together all week.

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Leaning up against the rental car, his hands propping his weight up on the hood, he heard the faint click-clack of a pair of heels, and looked up to see her marching down the sidewalk about a hundred yards away from the medical suite's front doors. His breath caught in his throat as he straightened up and stared longingly at her. Though her features were blurred by the distance, he would know her fiery hair, her porcelain complexion, and her graceful stride anywhere. Respirations becoming shallow and rapid, and heart threatening to go into dysrhythmias, he smoothed the front of his dark blue jeans with the palms of his hand and hit the lock button on his keychain, then stuffed his hands into his pockets and sauntered nervously towards her.

She glanced up as she neared the building and gasped quietly, then ducking her head down, she flew to the side door, quickly opening and slamming it behind her. Listening quickly to hear the automatic lock click, she then fell backwards against the painted steel and leaned her head backwards, closing her eyes and taking rapid, shallow breaths. Had he seen her?


	3. Chapter 3

Oh, he'd seen her. He envisioned her with her back pressed up against the door, her back rod-straight and her eyes closed, taking shallow breaths. She did that a lot when they were in the hospital in New York. She'd see an annoying nurse (or patient) coming, and she's duck into the nearest room. She'd often end up backed against the door in the on-call room he was napping in, and they'd end up in a long conversation that inevitably ended up in one of them being paged. Their conversations normally revolved around Derek, as he'd been the tie that originally bound them together, but those last few months, they'd evolved into deeper subject matter, or sometimes no conversation at all. Just making out, a few quickies, some that evolved into passionate hour-long marathons. He remembered the last time she'd slipped into his on-call room. Per usual, she'd clung backwards to the door and closed her eyes, breathing rapidly, but this time, it turned out she wasn't hiding from anybody…except maybe herself. "I'm pregnant." She'd just blurted it out, obviously having just taken the test without giving herself enough time to process it. He'd wiped the blur from his eyes and sat up hesitantly, then broke into a grin.

"Really?"

"No, Mark. That's just one of those things I say to men I'm having sex with. It's a scare tactic." She loosened her imaginary grip on the door and diverted her eyes towards his, squinting them slightly. "It is working?"

"No." He'd said it quietly, but matter-of-factly as he raised from the bunk and slowly moved towards her. "I'm going to kiss you now, then I'm going to hug you, then I'm going to tell you how happy I really am." As he leaned in towards her, she cringed slightly. He noticed, but brushed it off as simple anxiety about the current situation. However, as his hand caressed her cheek and his lips touched hers, she stiffened and pursed them together. He might as well have been kissing a wall. When his arms wrapped around her waist, she softened slightly and reluctantly placed hers around his neck, but she pushed away quickly and turned around. Then, reaching for the doorknob, she'd wiped a single tear from her bottom eyelashes and leaned into the doorframe. The smooth wood cooled her flushed cheek as her voice trembled violently.

"I can't keep it." With that, she turned the knob and pushed her way outside. He'd stood in the doorway and watched her hurry down the hallway and disappear into the ladies restroom.

* * *

Addison was tired of hiding from people. Slipping into empty rooms and around corners, leaning against doors—this was not how she wanted to live her life. There was a time she'd slip through a closed door, then press her back up against it, and be pleasantly surprised to find Mark sitting there, but that was a long time ago—two states ago to be exact. Her door hugging experiences in Seattle had all been bad. Oh, and there'd been plenty of them. She'd done what she could to avoid Meredith Grey for a while, then it was Derek, then it was Mark. "When did that change?" she thought to herself. When had it changed that finding Mark had turned into hiding from Mark? "Oh," she said aloud. She remembered that last "back against the door" encounter in New York, when she'd told Mark she was pregnant. Karma was really a bitch. An abortion, then to find out she was basically barren just a year and half later. Then, she comes to LA so she can quit hiding from people, and what is she doing now? Hiding…from Mark. Two states later.

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I apologize that my chapters aren't very long, and that they're not even very often. Like I said before…super busy. Maybe I'll get on a roll eventually.**


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